it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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