Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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