if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
