hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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