I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
