you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
