I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
