covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
