she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
