you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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