Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
