It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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