Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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