community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
