these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
