I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
