One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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