her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
