ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
