No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
