It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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