I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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