I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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