She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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