Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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