me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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