You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
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