so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
is it fun? or sober?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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