So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
