I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
