Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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