That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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