saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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