Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
