There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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