Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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