Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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