I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
