Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize