I'm so fucking centered right now
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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