Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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