Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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