taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
