Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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