Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
