I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
