I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
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