Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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