the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize