On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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