I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
