You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
