That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
