I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
