my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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