You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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