So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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