I'm going to rape someone's good day.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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