No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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