O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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