i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
