I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
