So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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