it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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