i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
