Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
