if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
