I don't think brook has ever known best
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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