no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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