I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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