Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
