Me too!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
